Anxiety Forum

[jitters]

emetophobia is a word that most people have never come across, but it is the fifth most common phobia. And it is the reason for my agrophobia indirectly. Due to my refusal to go anywhere that may cause me to vomit i.e. anywhere where there may be a sick person. and from doing anything which will make me feel ill such as drinking or going on fast rides.

Due to a severe case of irony my anxiety attacks make me nauseous so now I stopped going anywhere where I may get anxious, Luckily now I know what it is I can combat it but, why me. Plus of course if I have an anxiety attack which makes me feel ill, I get worried I may vomit, which makes me anxious, which makes me feel nauseaous, which makes me anxious I may vomit. Ad Nausem.

Duncan
_________________
In a mad world only the mad are sane

Akira Kurosawa

[hubbub]

lol I pretty much have the same thing. Whenever I go out, I start to feel sick thus I fear actually being sick although Im not sure why. I have vomited in the past from worrying to much and I did get on with it (this was going to work experience) yet I still fear it.
I know that most of the time I wont be sick though so I try and get out there cos after about 20 to 30 minutes I feel fine.

The worst is on holidays, I rarely eat for fear of being sick and I also have a big issue with restaurants.
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Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today

[jitters]

I know I really fear getting food poisoning, I'd rather lose an arm.



Duncan
_________________
In a mad world only the mad are sane

Akira Kurosawa

[justbreathe]

I have had this fear since I was in elementary school. Though its not nearly as intense (I faked sick several weeks of school because I was paralzed with fear! sounds silly I know) I still will get nervous and sick to my stomach. Im more afraid of someone vomiting around me because it becomes a chain reaction. I will avoid places like bars/clubs because people are always puking there and when someone pukes or I see it or smell I DO IT TOO! But I look at it this way, those places are not the healthiest of places for me to be anyways so its not so bad.

I just RECENTLY , at 23, found out Im not alone with this fear. All along I have felt like a big wierdo cuz no one else I know gets like this!

But my therapist was like whats the worst that will happen if you vomit in public? I thought it over and it wouldnt be the end of the world. Still dont like the feeling though.

[hubbub]

Im figuring that with me, the anxiety sort of started when I got food poisoning abroad (eeeeh gads!!) when I was about... 10. Well it also happened that I had to take a 3 hour bus ride, spend a day in a park, and a 3 hour bus ride back (we were already into the journey when I realised I had food poisoning)

So I think that counts into the fact I hate restaurants and eating out in general (although Im overcoming that one) I also think it comes from my nut allergy which is why going out is big deal for me.
_________________
Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today

[juliana]

if I have an anxiety attack which makes me feel ill, I get worried I may vomit, which makes me anxious, which makes me feel nauseaous, which makes me anxious I may vomit. Ad Nausem.

_______

Hi. I'm Juliana. Wow. I'm sorry other people are going through this too, but there's some solace in knowing I'm not the only one. I feel your pain and empathize with each of you. I was always a queasy little girl, got motion sickness on car trips and carnival rides (which I eventually avoided), had an ulcer when I was 12, and I would rather be in mind-numbing pain than throw up. I had a herniated cervical disk and pinched nerve for 6 months this year and the pain was intense. My doctor gave me Dilaudid but as soon as I read the most common side effects -- nausea and vomiting -- I threw the pills away and just suffered through the pain. My fear of nausea was just a minor annoyance on occasion when I was younger, though, and didn't start interfering with my life in a big way until I was 30.

I had a severe case of Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo that started in 2000. It was like being seasick constantly -- dizziness, bedspins, loss of balance, nausea and vomiting. It was horrendous -- one of my worst fears becoming reality 24 hours a day. Within 6 months, I was too sick to work. I was too dizzy to shower so my sister had to come over and wash my hair for me and do simple things like fixing soup for me -- because I fell down a lot and I was too dizzy to handle anything hot or sharp. It took a couple of years for the doctors to give me an accurate diagnosis. They kept sending me for GI tests even though I kept telling them I knew it was my right ear causing the problem. The whole experience just intensified my vomiting phobia.

Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to be alone when I'm sick; I didn't even want my mum near me. I don't want any company when I'm sick. I have always been phobic about being sick in public. So, about a year into my 5 year case of BPPV, I started having panic attacks and became agoraphobic. I stayed in my flat -- only leaving for doctor's appointments -- for over 4 years. Just stepping outside on my deck would make me feel like I was choking and I would be back inside within a few minutes. Weeks before a scheduled doctor's appointment, I would be consumed with fear at the thought of having to leave the comfortable isolation of my flat and going to a clinic or hospital. I would be in tears the day of the appointment and when I got there, the nurse would usually put me in a dark, private recovery room to wait for the doctor because I was too panicked to sit in the brightly lit waiting room with other people -- unable to swallow and so afraid of throwing up. I was extremely sensitive to fluorescent lights and any kind of movement in my peripheral vision when I had BPPV. Those things would just intensify the blurred vision and the spinning and lurching feeling in my head and stomach.

I have been back at work for 2 years now and have started doing things I never thought I would do again. This summer, I went on two trips. Going to a crowded airport was terrifying, but I made myself do it. I don't want to live my life in fear. I feel like I'm in mourning for all the wasted time -- those lost 5 years when my life ground to a complete stop. I still sometimes feel like Rip Van Winkle. It doesn't seem possible that I was sick for 5 years. My friends' lives changed -- marriage, new homes, babies -- and my life just remained stagnant. Those years seem to have gone by in the blink of an eye and I have struggled with depression since I returned to a semi-"normal" life. I don't want to waste any more of my life. So, I went on 7 long flights, travelled to four states, interviewed a rockstar, went to music festivals (Summerfest in Milwaukee -- in the midst of a sea of people, I actually had a blast!) and even braved Vegas (the antithesis of my quiet, safe flat). I even got terribly ill (recurrence of pinched nerve pain, stomach flu, prolapsed eardrums, sinus infection and strep throat) while I was there and had to let friends take care of me and I learned that it's not the end of the world. That felt like a major accomplishment for a former agoraphobe. It took three shots in the ass and a friend pushing me in a wheelchair to get me on the plane home, but I value that experience. Everything I feared might go wrong did go wrong and I survived.

I'm getting my career back on track -- moving to a new position in two weeks, but I still have panic attacks. I don't know which comes first -- the anxiety or the nausea -- but it's a vicious cycle. Nausea = panic = more nausea = more panic. My attacks take the form of a fear/inability to swallow. I clench my jaw and my throat tightens. I can't force myself to get on a bus, I can only go to a crowded mall on a "good day" and I am always aware of the location of the closest washroom or exit. I'm more likely to have an attack in places that are loud, brightly lit (especially with fluorescent lights) and with lots of movement. Wal-Mart is the absolute worst! When I have to go to a restaurant with colleagues, I always order soup and it's hard for me to eat even a bit of it. I think everyone assumes I'm on a ridiculously calorie-restricted diet, but I just find it so difficult to eat/swallow in public. Cocktail parties are one of the hardest things for me to endure. When I go to the grocery store, I leave if the line-ups are long. That's one of the hardest things for me -- standing in a line or waiting in a waiting room. If I keep busy and stay in motion, my mind is occupied, but when I have to stop and wait, the anxiety sets in. I try to practise some of the techniques my CBT therapist taught me -- like attempting to identify the thoughts that precipate the attacks, but I'm not very successful. The panic hits me so quickly and it's such an overwhelming physical effect. I can't identify anything other than nausea and panic... and all I want to do is get the hell away from wherever I am and be alone at home. Of course, I can't do that. I can't just leave the office when it happens -- and it happens at least once almost every day. I try to do the deep breathing techniques, but breathing deeply and exhaling through my mouth like I'm supposed to do feels impossible because it makes me feel even more likely to throw up. When I'm having a panic attack, I can't make myself open my mouth. I clench everything and can't even speak. I don't know what the solution is.

My new job will require me to be a communications coordinator and media contact for a university. Instead of being in my comfort zone -- in my quiet office, with the door closed, focused on Photoshop all day -- I will be going to a lot of social events and interacting with many more people on a daily basis. I will be in the public eye much more often than I have been recently and I'm afraid my panic attacks will interfere with my ability to do a good job. The logical, ambitious part of myself is thrilled about the opportunity, but I'm terrified. I'm so much better than I was 2 years ago, but I'm afraid I will never be the way I was before 2000. I'm feeling like I will never be able to move through the world with the kind of ease and freedom I felt before my panic attacks started.

Sorry for the length of this post. Talk about ad nauseum. I just needed to get this out. I don't talk out loud about this very often because I feel like no one in my life understands; they're so used to the way I used to be and admitting my fears is embarrassing. Close friends and family have told me that no one would ever guess that I have a panic disorder because I appear so confident and poised in social situations. I'm outgoing and talkative and I appear to be completely unselfconscious. It's a performance, though. I'm white-knuckling it and inside, my mind is screaming, "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" the entire time as I'm smiling and making pleasant conversation. It's exhausting. Has anyone here found ways of overcoming the nausea/panic cycle? I would welcome any techniques or suggestions you're willing to share. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Reading your words makes me feel less alone. It's a pleasure to meet you all.

[juliana]

I just thought of one thing that helps me a bit. I figured I'd share just in case it might work for someone else. I read somewhere that peppermint confuses the gag reflex, so I carry a tin of tiny peppermints with me all the time. When I'm nauseous and having trouble swallowing, I can't drink water or put a big peppermint in my mouth without feeling like I'm going to choke, but the tiny ones seem to help. I don't know why -- if it's the distraction -- but it usually calms me down a bit. Sometimes I'll have 5 or 6 mints in a row before the attack passes. It doesn't always work, but for me it's preferable to taking Clonazepam and an anti-nauseant. Those drugs are my security blankets and options of last resort, but I rarely take them. I suck on peppermints and wait for the attack to pass -- because it will pass eventually. When I'm having a stressful day, I usually opt for peppermint tea instead of coffee too. That seems to help a bit.

[jitters]

Thankyou for the reply sounds like you have been through the mill, but you havent let it rule your life and that is the important thing. Your an example to us all.

Cheers for the peppermint tip.

Stay Strong.

Duncan
_________________
In a mad world only the mad are sane

Akira Kurosawa

[juliana]

Thanks Duncan. I like the Kirosawa quote at the bottom of your posts. It resonates with me. Cheers.

[tweakit]

Hey, new to the forum here.

edit1:

this is EXACTLY what i'm told/what i feel also.

"Close friends and family have told me that no one would ever guess that I have a panic disorder because I appear so confident and poised in social situations. I'm outgoing and talkative and I appear to be completely unselfconscious. It's a performance, though. I'm white-knuckling it and inside, my mind is screaming, "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" the entire time as I'm smiling and making pleasant conversation."

I have the same symptoms and problems. I've been suffering with them for 4+ years now. And for some reason they are coming back strong again in my final semester of school.

Yes, I do have a fear of vomiting... but I've only vomited twice (non drinking, young kid (7ish) and twice because of drinking alcohol.

But I can't count the number of times I felt sick to my stomach and had to leave wherever i was because of the feeling and fear.

I almost dropped out of college because of it, but made it through, then went through some therapy and am now on ativan... but things are wearing off and its coming back to me..

I am going to go back to the doctor to see if there is a different medication to try that might work better. I'm becoming immune it seems to the ativan.

I needed to vent that. nice to see people who feel the same.

thanks,
tweakit

[conceptcanibal]

Juliana and others,
Wow it's good to be home in a way, I feel, like Juliana, that I'm out of place in many ways. Most of my friends don't get it, I feel stagnant while they are growing... and they still wonder why I seem so peppy.

I was reading through some of the website's topics and started panicing becuase I fear that even if I do find a cure, it will only be temporary.
I will have to try that peppermint trick, I too suffer from a fear of vomiting, or really a fear of having anything come out of anywhere, if you catch my drift (I posted my first topic on IBS).
I guess the best remedy is to try and find comfort in the fact that the percentage of times you've actually vomited vs. wanting to vomit is low, or I would hope so at least. There was one person, I believe it was tweakit, that said they had rarely puked in their lifetime. I myself also rarely puke ( I went something like, 7 years without throwing up once, until I got Viral menengitus and the medications made me severely sick) but often feel the urge to puke. I have been a full blown indoor agoraphobe for 7 months. On good days I come out to our office and do my ONLINE schoolwork (thank god for online college, i'd be completely lost) but on bad days I lay in bed with my object of choice, a plastic bowl, incase I do puke.

in the beginning stages that bowl was with me everywhere I walked, until I started realizing that I really don't puke that often.
So yeah, maybe that thought will help? I'm not too sure.

[KillingTime]

My whole anxiety is based around nausea.

My main symptom when I have a panic attack is extreme nausea, to the point where I can't even talk. I usually start gagging but i've never actually thrown up.

I don't like the idea of vomit.. .I never have, even before anxiety I can't stand to see or hear someone vomiting, so it's tough.

In general I am pretty much nauseas all day though, it's just become a part of me for about two years, I have to force all my food down while gagging. It gets horrible during a panic attack though... all the mints, ginger etc. in the world won't help me.

[archangel113]

Yeah my anxiety is pretty bad when it comes to going to public places, especially school. I don't eat before classes because of so scared of getting sick. But because I'm in school for so long my stomach really starts to hurt and I get nauseous anyway. Another part of my anxiety is that I really have to go number 2. But because I am afraid of public restrooms, I have to wait till I get home. Thus I am left nauseous, bloated, and in pain. I have dropped many classes because I can't stand bieng in school for so long. The most I have been able to handle is two classes a semester. I just don't know what to do anymore, the only thing that seems to help me is video games. When I am playing them I don't feel sick, but I still get alot of crap from my family and girlfriend because I play so much. No one seems to understand me and that makes me depressed. Anyone know what I should do???

[Kyu]

That's basically exactly what I have. (Though I do have a few other mental problems added on top of that.)

Typically, the best way I've found to cope is to always carry a bottle of water with me - sipping it helps me feel a little calmer, if only for a while, - and also sleeping with a bowl or similar container beneath my bed in case I wake up and vomit.

My anxiety's getting to the point where I can't board buses or places where I know I can't run into a toilet or out of sight of everyone if I feel I need to be sick. The same rule applies for if I'm at a distance which I consider to be too far away.

It's a royal pain in the arse, because it's often the reason I leave early when I meet my friends - or the reason I stay up all night at sleepovers.

I sometimes wish there was a medication that was a kind of quick-fix for this fear and related anxiety; the closest thing I've found are Rennies, but just like any medicine they're probably dangerous if you take too many. I can't distinguish whether it's my anxiety making me feel sick or genuine illness anymore so I've forced myself to stop taking them and stick to water now.
_________________
"For a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic."

[Suz]

I have a similar fear. When I was young, I had some very unpleasant and embarrassing experiences that involved me vomiting. I have spent most of my life avoiding it. I actually think this is more common than most people think. As a child, I used to get motion sick very often...in the car...on kiddie rides at carnivals. I really thought it was normal to avoid doing those types of things that make you miserably ill. That is why I have avoided long car rides unless I am driving, any type of ride that goes up-down-round and round. I stay away from boats on the ocean because I discovered that I get sea-sick as well. As I got older, I did find that I got unreasonably scared of it. If I got even a little naseous, I would do everything in my power to not vomit. Even when I knew I should throw-up to feel better, I would fight it all the way. I have vomited once in the past 15 years and it was so difficult, that I cried from the experience as well as busting blood-vessels under my eyes which made things even worse and more traumatic.

I guess I am glad that I am not the only one that has a fear of it.