Anxiety Forum

[gasoline]

Im new to this, my name is Heather-Rose. I didn't even know what panic disorder was untill one night I had a panic attack. I was just doing the usual thing I always do every night, layed down to go to sleep then I got this feeling and said to myself in my mind "Its ok, your going to die soon." I said NO! and started crying, went into my mom's room asking her if she had ever felt like time was running out. She told me I was having a panic attack. I was on the phone with my boyfriend Andrew at 1 am. He talked to me, tried to get me to laugh, get my head and mind going somewheres else. Finally after crying and talking for about 2 hours it just went away. i've been scared to death ever since. Somedays I forget about it. But when my cat acts funny like she's trying to get out I start thinking "Oh god, animals can sence death, im going to die, Im afraid" I'll start to get all worked up. Little things get me thinking too much. Im only 18 years old and I think sometimes that I am going to die. Im so scared of dying. Then some psychic said that some people know when they are going to die. I think again "Oh mmy god, I knew it..."and i get all worked up again.

I know I need to take something, but Im afraid of meds too. My life has picked up alot and Im worried that it'll end shortly and Im scared to death.

Can someone please tell me Im normal.

[EamaneEldendil]

First of all what you have to understand is that you are not going to die. We all think that in the beginning because these sensations are so awful and intense, but i can assure you nothing that you experience when you are suffering from a panic attack can harm you! It's just the bodies reaction to dealing with fear, although in our case an extremely exagerated one.
This is a really great page tp help explain everything that happens during a panic attack and what thoughts can bring them about and how we can change those thoughts to prevent the panic in the future etc, so give it a read and hopefully it'll make you feel a lot better
Good luck.....
http://www.broadcaster.org.uk/section1/scenarios/agoraphobia.html

[gasoline]

Thanks

[gasoline]

*whew* I feel a lot beter now that I've read that. There was more in there then I already knew. I dont like having this, lol Im sure thats real commen. I had my boyfriend read it too, incase of any emergencey he knew how to talk with me. We're going to be living together by next fall, so I figure he should just have it to know. I made myself a list (im so lame) and i put it under my matress. Because when I feel an attack coming Im usually just about to fall asleep. Just some good to know facts.

I just had a question..I kind of had a messed up childhood and when I finally cracked and let it out to public thats when my first upcoming attack started. Do you think the stress I had as a child is reflecing on me now because I've held it in for so long? Could that happen?

[EamaneEldendil]

Absolutely, my anxiety has been brought about a shitty childhood also, i think most anxiety problems are, that and trauma of course. I have no doubt that your past experiences and opening up about them now have opened a gate, but it can be closed. What you're going through is awful there's no question about that, but it can get easier, especially now that you have all the knowledge that you do.
It's great that your boyfriend is supportive, that makes the whole situation better and wish you both the best of luck

[gasoline]

I've realized that Everyday, I have in my head that I will die soon, and I feel comfortable with it. Not too comfy but close. Not so much getting into a panic attack or starting to, but I cant get this out of my head. I try to think of other things, and It still goes ot my death. No chest pain, no freaking out, no chills...Just a thought that stays. Then my mom told me (she works in a bank) that a guy she worked with got into an accident because he had a heart attack on the road..but when the guy cleaned out his desk their was a paper "If anyone finds this, tell my wife I love her." So I thought 'He knew it". but the day before he went to the doctor and everything was fine. She told me this yesterday. Yesterday I also got very stressed about money and all due to some planning Ive been doing for next week. My nervs are shot. I keep feeling like I know Im going soon. I know everyone will one day. I put myself in a comfy position and closed my eyes, talked saying "I have panic disorder and its ok, just breath, it feels like Im going to freak out but its ok. and so on" Afterwards I felt it go away, but the death thought was still there. No pain, no chills, no reality blur--just the thought. Does anyone else get that or is it just me?

I keep thinking "it must mean Im going to die soon, thats why I keep thinking about it." but my boyfriend said Im only thinking myself into it. I dont know.
_________________
I Feel That 'What If' Is The Reverse Answer To Any Question.