Anxiety Forum

[MRJD]

I was in a bit of a panic on my other post. Lets try this with some rational thought.

When I hear the word suicide, something inside me tells me that I might do that someday...or..."could that be me?" I also do the..."This will never get better. What if it drives me to suicide?" I know in my heart these are crazy thoughts, but they seem SO real at times that I get really scared. These are not suicidal thoughts because I am not planning it nor am I actively trying to talk myself into it or talk myself out of it. I am concerned that these un-natural and un-characteristic thoughts keep racing through my head and I get scared by it.

Does anyone have this? Does it get better?

[hesson81]

know exactly what yout talking about. Then you sit there, and shake your head and rub your forehead, and say "I don't know why i'm having that thought." It's like they are sucidal thoughts with out the intent.

I started to place those thoughts under the intrusive thought category. Just another way to disturb yourself. Try and laugh it off, you'll feel better the next day. It's hard to laugh those type of things off, but you gotta remove they way that it makes you feel. You know that it's not true, and that you'll never do it.

[MRJD]

Then do you sit there and wonder..."my God, I am thinking this, then it must be true!" Then a wave of panic sweeps through you. The other thing that happens is when I hear about a suicide, I analyze the victim to make sure there are not any similarities with me. I have to remember that I am not them, and that is the biggest difference regardless of any similarity.

[elgrande]

Yeah I get this too and then it leads to me thinking about getting old and not being able to do anything about it which leads to a spike of fear adrenaline. I think its a control thing and at the end of the day we can't control every thought which pops into our head.

[hesson81]

No you can't control every thought that enters your head, the only thing you can do is control your reaction to it. I'm still dealing, don't get me wrongs, but I have found much improvement in understanding that a lot of the thoughts are induced my the anxiety itself, so I'll tell myself "yea, that's anxiety provoked thought, I can think it if I want to, but I know it's not true". Sounds rediculous, not gonna seem like it's going to work while your doing it, but the next time yuo have to apply it you'll see mild improvement. What you have to do is turn off the adreniline, you can't turn off the fear, because that's out problem, but you can work through the fear and take away the irrational. Which will inturn turn off the adreniline a little. If you keep on working hard at that, it will improve. So that's the way I have had to look at a lot of the thinking, that it is indeed anxiety provoked. None of it's true, of corse not fighting it.

TO MRJD: yea your going to wonder,"it must be true", but that's because the reaction (anxiety/reaction) you have to your fear makes you think it's true. The fear emotion, i think is like the only one that can have a physical symptom that can support an irrational thought. It's hard to think about it, but it's the reaction that adds some validity to the thought. As you allow the reaction to continue, you can either react to it with more fear, which will probably make it worse the next time, or you can react to the irrational thought rationally, and make it better for the next time. Know that it's not going to happen over night or even with in a week. Over time as you practice it, you could google search something on suicude and it won't pahse you. Don't do that though. There's no need to ponder stuff like that anyway anxiety or not.

I have had much success blaming all my thoughts on anxiety and removing the validity behind them. I have gone into these ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) and during them, when i can't get out of them i sit there and recognize what they are, and tell my meyself to get off of it, none of it is true. "think all you want, but none of it is true".

Remember, you fear commiting sucide, you won't. As long as you recognize that, that's all it is fear. not reality, you can start to remove the emotion associated with it starting today. In about 2 weeks it won't even pahse you. It might still be a thought, but you won't care about it.

[hesson81]

Hey nother thought as I emerge out of all this. Are you ever able to think something disturbing one day and not let it bother you, like suicide. Then the next day comes along and you think it, and you go right into the fear cycle again.

As I was having one of my moments the other day, I realized even more what was happening. I don't know how long you have been struggling with thoughts. Me 3 months or so. I was so distraut because, i was like, I don't know why I'm having these thoughts, I never had them before. That in itself dirsturbed me. I came up with the truth though. 90% of the population including myself prior to 3 months ago have these thoughts. I now am positive that I have had these thoughts before. So has everyone, it's not that you don't ever have the thoughts, it's that you don't ever pay attention to them. They float away with all the other sneceless thought.

So I was thinking why does it bother me so much now though. I couldn't figure it out. Then I woke up one morning and I figured it out.

When your already in an axious state, your mind and body already in a reaction mode. So no matter what you think Nuetral or negative may disturb you a littlem, or a lot. In other word, your mind in body is already in a fearful mode to respond to nuetral or positive things your thinking of. It's real hard to have Positive thoughts in this state.

I think at this point the only way you can get out of it, is to go through it, and force rational. It might not feel like it, but your lessening the response (fear)..

[ThePhoenix]