Anxiety Forum

[stephen0235]

hi
im a 36 year old 6'2" 15 stone piece of wobbly jelly.
well thats what i see everyone else sees me different but they dont know me really.they see the guy in the pub laughung making jokes playing darts and pool or working for me where i sort out problems and seem in total control .they dont see the real me who only works for himself because thats how he can control everything because hes so infested with anxiety he couldnt work for anyonel else ,and a man who makes excuses not to go anywhere or get to close to anyone incase they discover how terrified he is,you see i used to be a confident teenager maybe too confident mixed with the cool kids hahaha went nightclubbing when i was 14 etc by 17 im on drugs by 20 im injecting ,then one night im full of speed and take a bad ectasy tablet and boom suffered a panic attack real bad , by 22 ive given up drugs but my confidence is shot but i move on and for 10years i suffer terrible with panic avoiding partys etc but i work abroad meet a great girl we move back to england buy a house try for a family doesnt work try ivf panick like hell but keep going unfortunately it wasnt to be after 4 attempts but in a postive weve manages a holiday which is a major break through thanks to venalflaxine drugs but then u gotta laugh during the ivf treatment i find out ive got hepatitis c so i have to have 12 months of horrible injections and treatment where i feel really shitty but i do it and win so im hep c free start back too work but then comes the credit crunch and as a builder we are first hit hence no work and i cant work for others because of my anxiety do im now in real trouble bills mounting the anxiety and stress is so high ill probably default on my mortgage and god knows where ill be.
any way thats my story so next time when u see a 6'2" 15 stone builder dont be intimadated its probably just me a wobbly piece of jelly

thanks for listening to my short story haha it really is the short version