Anxiety Forum

[Evilbob333]

Hello, this is my first post and i having read a few tonight, i just felt that i'd try to say something a little uplifting.

I've suffered from anxietyand depression for about five years on and off. I keep feeling better for months up to a year and then i relapse. I'm finding my current relapse particularly difficult...i feel that anxiety has 'evolved' and i'm trying to get on top of my new load of negative, obsessive ruminations. This is the first time i've been to the doctors and asked for anti depressants. I was supposed to be on holiday with my girlfriend right now, but didnt feel well enough to go away so she's in Italy and i'm stewing in my own juices at home, and frankly i feel terrible.

Now the positive. I know that this is all chemicals in my brain making me feel like this. I know its not me. I know its reinforced by my thought processes, by telling myself that i'm going mad, that my girlfriend will hate me for not going on holiday, that i'll end up alone and locked up in some hospital. I know all of it is me, that its not truth, that its thoughts and chemicals. And still i feel shit. But i know its an illness, and i know i have people to speak to, i know tomorrow is another day, i know my medication will start to help in a bit, i know exercise and getting out and about will lift me. Even though i feel like shit and feel terrified of things, i'm clinging on to hope, i'm going to nurture it and help it grow.

None of us out there have no hope, everyone with poor mental health can get better, we have a part to play in our own recoveries. It can be done, we might get worse before we get better, we'll trip up and lose sight of the light, but keep the flame burning inside and keep your chin up and eyes forward and we can get there. Its in our hands, we're not victims, we're soldiers fighting our own personal wars! And we're strong dammit! real strong!

Good luck!