Anxiety Forum

[callmeshady]

I went to party last night and drank with some old friends i havent seen in a long time. these friends have known ive had problems for years. They'ev seen how messed up i am cause ive freaked out relle bad infront of them.

i left the party to visit my girlfriend since she lived close by and smoked a blunt with her. and everything was fine until ig ot back tot he partry. As sson as i got ther i started to feel ancy. I couldnt sit still and i guess i was acting kind of creepy. It wasnt until we smoked another blunt that i started panicking. I couldnt hold a straight face or follow convorsation or in that matter have any logical thought going through my mind. I looked like a complete asshole because i couldnt even say anything.

and my pants were hangin off my ass and i was being a fagit and bastard i felt like. and these people i knew me from a long time agao.. but still i feel they judged me last night and i dont think they will be intouch with me anymore.....and i feel so sad and deppresed cause i do this with everyone...i cant seem to find a place where i belong and i get tooo high all the time and its makin me relle messed up. i know i should probably quit but i just can't its so hard and im so deppresed today...life has got me so spun.