Anxiety Forum

[setler]

Hey all, could use some help please

I have been doing good with anxiety lately, but just recently have found myself very attracted to a woman. We are getting to know each other and she seems interested as well. I am getting this anxiety thinking about the situation though... This has happened with a past relationship also, which ended up being the cause of us breaking up.

It's hard for me to tell why I'm so anxious because there seems to be a disconnect between my stomach, where my anxiety comes in like adrenaline and nausea, and my mind, where I mainly just think about her.

The main idea I can get from my thought process is something like... "What I don't feel this way about her? What if I am getting myself into something where I'll be stuck? What if I start being attracted to other woman?".... It is mainly about me, nothing about being scared of getting hurt by her or anything.

It is very annoying because this woman is very special: very funny, strong, outspoken, and beautiful.

What does anyone think? Could this be my body's detector for when it just isn't right? Is there a way to get past the anxiety? I am working out a lot and eating well, etc, healthy lifestyle.

Bottom line, if the anxiety was gone, I would love to date her.

Any help is MUCH appreciated!

Peace and love to all out there

[Dixxie]

well, my advice: don't regret the chance to get to know this wonderful young woman. You may go thru sweating and breathing fast and looking nervous but after the initial encounter....your heart beat will start slowing down and it will hopefully get easier every time you talk to her. Don't put her on a pedestal, just think of her as normal, very normal. It's just a mind thing here. If she doesn't respond favourably towards you, then at least you know where you stand with her. Okay?

[dfw2005]

I have severe relationship anxiety as well, but mine is a little opposite of yours. I get more concerned about getting hurt, cheated on or betrayed because it has happened so many times in the past. So i over analyze every little thing that happens, and sometimes am stupid enough to open my mouth and let him know that.

[Konnor]

I can familiarise with this a lot. Anxiety, fear and addiction were the causes of my last break-up. I couldn’t think of anything else when I was going out with her. I was so scared of the fact she seemed into me that the relationship consumed me and my feelings and I felt trapped. The difficult thing being like you, the girl seemed right for me.

It sounds simple and I wish I could follow my own advice but try to think positively about yourself first and foremost. Am I right in thinking you’re having worrying thoughts about hurting this person if/when you get involved because she seems so great? It sounds like you are attracted to her but worried about how you will react towards her in the future.

Go on a date, have fun and take it slow. Also maintain the other interests/goals you have in life and continue to chase them as well. Your feelings/interests will always be more important than anyone else’s. The way I see it a partner is there to enrich your life, not become your life.

Good luck and hope you get on okay.

[Dixxie]

and if I may add too,..................we're never too old to learn that!

Also, keeping involved and BUSY as much as possible when you are having those troubled heavy moments.....Find a friend, even if it is your mom or brother or even neighbour......confide about feeling unsure and maybe they can shed some light or something comforting to you.

Or, you can come on this forum.....and talk with us!