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bluebear
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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 Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:32 am Post subject: Remove the stigma. |
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This has come as a shock to me that so many people suffer the same symtoms as I do. I just wish that there was not such a stigma attached to mental health, physical health problems can be seen and people tend to have more empathy for others when they can see a problem. I have suffered such low self esteem and low self worth for years, due to my up bringing, I was provided with the basics but was put down throughout my childhood. Cant remember when I have really felt relaxed and confident in my life. Have had five years of pychotherapy, although it has helped it never seems to go away for good. Is there anyone out there who has atchually got rid of their anxiety for good. Maybe the answer is just to accept it rather than keep fighting it. Any comments!  |
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Robbed
mucho contributor
Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 468
Location: Norcal
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:38 am Post subject: Re: Remove the stigma. |
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| bluebear wrote: | | This has come as a shock to me that so many people suffer the same symtoms as I do. I just wish that there was not such a stigma attached to mental health, physical health problems can be seen and people tend to have more empathy for others when they can see a problem. I have suffered such low self esteem and low self worth for years, due to my up bringing, I was provided with the basics but was put down throughout my childhood. Cant remember when I have really felt relaxed and confident in my life. Have had five years of pychotherapy, although it has helped it never seems to go away for good. Is there anyone out there who has atchually got rid of their anxiety for good. Maybe the answer is just to accept it rather than keep fighting it. Any comments! |
Actually, acceptance (and NOT fighting) IS the answer. BUT, by acceptance, I do NOT mean surrender. Rather, what I mean is not trying to 'block out' your anxiety, but at the same time not engaging it. So if you feel fearful of something, don't try to block the fear. But also don't start a train of thought based on that fear. By simultaneously accepting while facing your fear, anxiety will be reduced over time.
This reminds me of something that has been going on for quite some time between my brother and a friend of his. Anyway, some time ago, his friend started text messaging him with names from characters in movies, musicians, etc. He would frequently call my brother names of ridiculous characters. So my brother basically did the same back to him. He stared calling his friend names that he knew would bother his friend. Why? He thought it was kind of funny how his friend would get all bent out of shape about something so silly. So his friend would just keep getting annoyed by this over and over again. He even tried calling my brother female names in order to get even. But my brother REALLY didn't care. He just keeps texting him over and over again, and his friend just keeps reacting in the same way. BUT, what if his friend STOPPED reacting in the same way? What if he just let it go? It would stop being fun for my brother. My brother would then almost certainly lose interest, and stop texting him. See what I am getting at here? Anxiety is really not much different from my brother and his cellphone.
A couple of other things. You mention five years in therapy with few to no results. It sounds to me like your therapist is like the vast majority of those out there - basically worthless. Maybe you find that your therapist is an agreeable person (otherwise you would not have been going for five years). But it sounds like he/she really can't help you. I would suggest that you find another one, although you could be searching for a LONG time. And I would suggest that you try some good self-help material as well. In situations like this, you just can't wait for a therapist to MAKE you better. Because even the BEST therapist can only lead you in the right direction. They can't MAKE you better.
You also mention the 'stigma' of having mental health problems. I'm not quite so sure that I would say that the vast majority of folks here are really what I would call mentally ill (to me, 'mentally ill' means having a psychiatric problem as opposed to a psychological problem). You talk about your upbringing, how you were put down alot, and how your self-esteem has suffered as a result. Perhaps this has caused you to suffer from depression/anxiety. BUT, the fact is that probably the majority of people out there would suffer from the exact same problems under the circumstances. In ALOT of ways, you have the problems you do because you reacted like a pefectly normal human being to your enviromnent. Does this REALLY sound like mental illness to you? Think about it. I think that our pill-crazed culture has turned problems like this into something they really aren't. And people like you and I (and most other people here) are suffering as a result. |
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bluebear
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:28 pm Post subject: Fear the fear and do it anyway. |
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Thanks for replying, this was my first topic on the forum. I agree that my therapist has helped but can't make it all go away only provide strategies to cope, I became very dependant on him and given up the therapy was hell, I desperately would like to go back as it has become an addiction and transferance became a problem.
I have tried lots of self help books my favourite is feel the fear and do it anyway, its just having the strength of mind to do what she suggests in the book. I know Rome was not built in a day and I have improved during therapy enough to reach one of my goals in life, to graduate from Oxford.
Thanks for listening.  |
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