Anxiety Forum

[sidster]

Yes SA is a problem for me to. But what makes it worse is that I have many ambitions about becoming successful. As you can imagine with SA that's a big problem. Not being able to attend meetings to promote a brand or company, public speaking and working in a team.

My problem is that i'm intelligent with a successful academic past but I'm not able to utilise this in the real world.

Would things be better, would be a good thing to see SA as a REAL disability (not just on paper). Thus as a disabilty (which after trying numerous things will not go) - I accept it, lower my ambitions - not go back to med school (had to leave).. find an easier vacation, with less people..don't expect much from life - live mostly indoors, on the computer - with books and movies..seeing people only once in a while (family surrounds me all the time anyways)...
perhaps then ill be happier/content - if i stop fighting it and accept it as a physical (as its is mostly genetic) disability, and adapt my lifestyle around it?
Obviously no one wants this as when someone in road accident doesn't want to be crippled, but perhaps its worth accepting??

Would like to hear your views on this?

[Fear]

I don't think you should stop being ambitious if that's always been your nature.I think that from one side you could think:"It's ok,I'm socialphobic,I got limits,but it doesn't mean I don't have to want more from life and myself".If you don't think it that way and give up to the fuckin' problem then it is better to go lay down on the couch and get drunk in front of tv.I tell you how I feel about all of this:I don't know about you but I've never been diagnosed by anyone,so mine is just a suspect that lasts years now and comes into my mind more and more and more...When I'm around people I really would like to stay around,I go crazy;I'm scared of being rejected to not be liked and shit that I'm pretty sure you know well.I don't do anything but little things day by day.Nothing on the big picture change much you just see a little result,one at a time.Yes that's wrong not to really do anything about it but I'm scared to death I'm mistaking to say I could really be ill I.My ambitions aren't professional ones or stuff like that,what I really care about is getting better in human relationships and being able to get better in communication and the art of keeping a friend.
So don't give up to that feeling and stop trying.You NEED to believe in yourself,if you've been successfull in the past I don't see why you shouldn't believe you could be in the future,your personal way.
Given I tried to help you,would you like to try to help me if I need it? People used to answer but not much now,so when I come here looking for an advice or opinion I just get almost no result.An exchange would be appreciated.
Have a nice day
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The better I wanna be,the worst I become.


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[joey9]

Hi, what are the numerous things that you have tried? I have found a middle ground in terms of my career aspirations. I think I would love to sit around the house and not have to face any challenging situation at all, but actually I wouldn't because I would go insane with boredom and feelings of failure. But I find myself automatically assessing any job that I am tempted to go for in terms of how many presentations I'd have to do, how much 'schmoozing' I'd be expected to do (which I loathe even more than presentations) etc. So I kind of have a safeish career that is probably a bit but not too much beneath my ideal expectations, and I have to take the awful stuff (i.e. the presentations and the schmoozing) on the chin. And practice really does make perfect. I don't remember the last time I was too scared to speak up in a meeting for fear of blushing. That all seems a long time ago now. I really didn't have to do anything other than force myself into the situations that I feared. I would recommend that you persevere because if you forsake all careers so that you can sit in your house and not be challenged then you're going to have to deal with an awful lot of new anxieties to do with lack of fulfilment of your dreams.

[Steve_P]

[danstelter]

Anxiety gets in the way and causes problems, but everyone has the potential to overcome and lead an enjoyable life. It sounds like you seek a high degree of success, just like myself. Keep at it. You may be missing pieces of the puzzle that help you recover from anxiety - exercise/medication. You can do it, but you just have to keep at it. It sounds that right now might be a good time to take a break and relax for a bit.
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Dan Stelter is the founder and lead author of www.anxietysupportnetwork.com a new forum designed to help all people recover from struggles with anxiety. Dan is a lifelong anxiety sufferer who is successfully managing his condition.