Anxiety Forum

[soshy]

Hi Dave -

I think you're very brave to take a job like you did. Even dead, I still wouldn't take a job like that: People standing in line looking at you and knowing the general public, I've seen some incredibly rude people. The worst part of that kind of job that would give me anxiety and panic is that you can't leave your spot - OH GOD!!! I think you're great! I'd be running, and I'm not kidding. I actually quit a job by grabbing my bag and coat and ran like crazy and I was a sprinter in high school!

I had a job once when I was in my later teens at this bakery shop. They started me out in the back which is where I wanted to be making the goods. It was family owned - Father, Mother and Son.
The mother either refused to speak English or she didn't know much, because I first noticed the father never wanted mother at the register. Then I figured it out. She was so mean. She would become a maniac and scream at the customers. Mother would take these huge baking pans and whack her only son if he did something wrong - I never saw him do anything wrong, he worked his butt off. It only took her less than a week to start screaming at me. She was supposed to train me, but I never understood her - she spoke in Italian the whole time. I kept telling her I didn't know Italian. The only English words she spoke to me were, "You stupid girl!" and she always yelled it. Oh God!!! Then the father wanted me up in front selling the goods to the patrons. I told him no, but that didn't last. So there I was with an adding machine that didn't work and the cash register was only used to put the money in.

I trembled and panicked so badly. My mind was focused on trying to calm down. So, there wasn't much left to focus on hearing the orders and the worst was dealing with the money. I couldn't count change in my head during panic. I had the worst eye contact especially trying to look normal while having panic only makes my face twitch! I know I gave more money back to the customers. The worst was the high school kids. Teasing, mocking and the rude remarks and than mother screaming, "You stupid girl! in front of everyone. A nightmare I'll never forget. There was nowhere to hide and nowhere to hide my face. The father kept telling me to smile. I CANNOT SMILE when I'm nervous - still a big problem. So, one day I thought, this isn't getting any better, so I ran.

I'm sorry you lost that job, but I could never be as brave as you were!

As for interviews, I found a trick that works for me. It's part of my always having an out. I tell myself before the interview. "I do not need this job and I can walk out of that interview whenever I want." Even though I may need a job, I know that if I don't give myself slack I'm gonna crack. They’re other jobs out there and taking care of me is first (not having panic).

We've brainwashed ourselves that were going to panic and we do. So, through therapy I learned to always give myself a safety net / an out. You can leave an interview anytime you want. It's your interview. Hey, they are in need of an employee. You really have the control. You're selling your skills. So, brainwash yourself with that. I know it's hard, but it has worked for me.

Take care,

Running like the wind, soshy

[shoe]

wow soshy, that sounds like a nightmare situation you were in, I don't blame you for using your sprinting skills! lol

thats probably good advice for interviews, I always get so preoccupied with how they will perceive me, I forget that it's also ME interviewing them to see if they are 'worthy' of my time hehe.

[Ken1968]

[Ken1968]

[Linda]

I don't know why so many of us with social anxiety choose jobs as store clerks dealing with people--of all things!! But it definitely is affecting my job. My managers keep asking me "So, how do you like your job?" I want to reply, "Fine, except for the customers." Except that the customers ARE my job. So, I figure that's not the best response. I think I would be happier at a more task-related job. But maybe this was a subconscious choice in order to overcome this dread of people. The only problem is, customers can be quite annoying. So, it doesn't give much hope of liking people any better! What is even more difficult is interactions with co-workers. Most of the time, I just don't know what to say to them . So much for winning any popularity contests. How do you get over the feeling of being judged when that was your entire childhood experience?

[duddits]

Hi Linda, and welcome to Anxiety Forum, by the way. Your post caught my attention, because I wonder the same thing myself. I work as a stork clerk myself. lol. Social anxiety is affecting my ability to move up in the company, for the time I've spent with the company I would be a store manager by now. Luckily I don't rely on this job to pay my bills I can, however, say that working in retail has definitely helped me open up more to be people and be more socialable. I still have a long way to go though.

I think the main problem for me was that I didn't have an ounce of confidence in my mind. After figuring out that I "can" be well-liked by others, it has helped me be less anxious around customers and other employees A year ago, I wouldn't even think working in a retail setting, but now I can eve greet new co-workers. lol.

I think constantly being exposed to these type of situations (ones that you deal daily. e.g., work), added with medications, help tremedously when overcoming social anxiety.
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Always,
James

My Other Sites: Social Anxiety Disorder

[lost]

I have worked as a teacher's aide for the last 8 years. This job is close to home and I have known almost every one who works there most of my life. The school is closing in May and I am scared to death because one of my biggest fears is having to drive by myself very far. I live in a very small town and I'm afraid to leave my comfort zone. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology ( of all things) but haven't really done anything with it because of my anxiety around people and my fear of driving. I get to thinking about having to find a new job and it makes me sick. It's the worst at night. My mind sometimes runs all night and I have panic attacks. It seems like these last few months of school are going by so fast. Every tells me I could find a better job but I don't know.

[kim]

Hey guys,

just reading through all the posts about work being affected. I was just wondering has anyone ever tried working for themselves?

When I first became agoraphobic, I was a receptionist (yes working in front of people) for an organisation that housed abused and neglected children (it was a very interesting and eye opening position) - anyhow I had worked there for 4.5years and then BAM I started getting Freaky (as I call it) to the point where I could not leave my street - and hence I lost my job.

Sometime later (quite sometime later) I decided I was ready to face the world again but in my own time - so I sat down and thought to myself what interests me - I love animals (especially cats) and I thought "how about a hydrobath business?" (that's where you go to peoples houses and wash their dogs and cats).
I could make appointments to suit me, and space them out as far as I liked. So I got to work, first off made up a name "Heavenly Hydropets" registered it, bought supplies, made up a gimmick "ears cleaned, nails cut, towell dried and a bicky at the end" (which went down really well with the doggies and impressed their owners - a happy doggy makes a happy owner = more business), and nowdays most hydrobath businesses do the same thing. I printed up some fliers and distributed them. And employed my younger brother to help out. We became quite well known as the doggies would jump up and down barking excitedly as they heard our trailer in their street - they were truly happy days. As you can imagine as business boomed, my confidence grew, and I got out more and more until we were at it 6 days a week. Now I'm not saying that my panic attacks disappeard but they were less frequent and no way near as severe.

In case your wondering after doing this for some years, I decided to sell the business and did so. Summers in Aussie land are getting hotter every year and in all honesty I probably overdid it. Then I worked part time at a dog kennel, then can you believe it, serving at a Muffin Break (family business) - yes back into the spot light serving etc.

My point being I guess, is that, if I had not started my own business, who knows what I would have done, where I would be and if I would have gotten any better any quicker.

[xx_amber_xx]

My anxiety affects my school life... i get driven in at 8 and dont leave untill 6 (the earliest i can be picked up)

[rock182]

Hey, my SA effects my life at work a lot.. to the point where I want to look for a new job. I'm only 18, but at work I'm constantly worrying about doing a good job and if people are watching and screwing up, so I sweat a lot and get red and really hot, which makes me more nervous. I also work around customers a lot.. which makes it so much harder. Sometimes I'll go off and wipe off the sweat from my face and then return, but that's only a temporary solution. It's so embarrassing, and I hate it so much. I just want this to end. I haven't yet gone to a doctor (I used to go a lot for depression problems), but I'm thinking about it, and making a notebook online about SAD. Thanks for reading.

[The Healing Guy]

I am here to lend a helping hand. I am a healer. I do long-distance healing purely on a donation basis. If you are truly ready to start turning things around, just drop me a line at:

thehealingguy@hotmail.com

No strings attached. Just you and me and healing energy. Remember, you are always the real healer!

Sincerely,
Michael[b]
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[panic81]

soryy to hear about your job. on the other hand, have you tried any medications for help on you social anxiety. i had the same problems you had but about a year ago i started medications and they have really worked for me. i wish you luck and i know you will find a better job.

[Fear]

I'm scared to pay so I don't do it and I'm paranoid:I can't count,I can't do it fast,people will realize that,I need the calculator,and stuff like this.It's a nightmare.

[duddits]

[Tysh0w]

I am a bagger at a food store and 2 weekends ago i went to work but only stayed there 27 minutes cuz i had a panic attack and felt like i was gonna vomit. I had to call in the next day as well. But the next weekened (last weekend) i went and i was fine. It really sucks having this. I use to have weekly gaming parties with my friends but now we dont do that anymore. I just stay home and play on the computer and watch tv. I do go to work but thats about it. How do you guys cope with this stuff? It sucks.
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Tyshow Urameshi
of
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P.S My skype accounts is tyshow_urameshi