Anxiety Forum

[Spot]

I finally found a job where it is myself and 1 co-worker. The problem is the co-worker. Ever since I started he's been trying to break me down every day by grouping with 'his' type of people (some of our clients). Personally, you know how it is with meds, therapy, temporary relationships, etc. I have generalized anxiety, ADD & ADHD, clinically depressed and anger issues - yeah, I'm in therapy...again. My dad self-medicated all his life. I'm trying to stand up to it. It's tough enough dealing with it.

But my problem is this little guy at work...

He walks by my office, threatens to kill me and take my power (don't have much left). He mocks me in front of clients, but only when he's in a group (bully). By himself he comes across as best friends (coward). He knows he can take advantage of me because I admitted that I'm dealing with anger and depression. I'm also the type to hold anger in, rather than go to jail for assault. All he does is double-talk about suicide, craziness and any other weakness he feels 'gets' to me. I've been a witness to this before, but remained uninvolved. Now, I'm the target. How much do I tolerate? I know he's trying to get me to quit or provoke me. The thing is, once provoked, it's too late. I can't afford to quit or take another socially isolating job. Oh yeah, he's my boss. Anyone been in this situation? Was there a labor board or community service involved? Did you just run? Or endure. He's beyond reason. Any help appreciated.

[EricH]

Enduring him is not an option, as it will further empower him and further irritate you.

Leave the job, or file a "harrassment" claim with your state's labor board.

I assume that you are involved in the mental health system to some degree, likely with access to a "case manager". They can be VERY HELPFUL in these situations.

Good luck...

[BeachGaBulldog]

Spot, I have a lot of the same issues as you do. I suffer from ADHD/ADD, depression, SAD, OCD, and have anger issues myself. I am currently unemployed, as I am sick of working in offices with a bunch of others with the usual office politics. Talking behind people's back, etc. The only type of job that I can do is in a setting with very few people, and by myself would be perfect. I am not having any luck.
Your co-worker sounds like people I have had to deal with, bully/cowards. I also have always held my anger in, and like you, I am in therapy, AGAIN. Trying different meds hasn't worked either. Co-workers have said things to me that were hurtful, and my anger would build, but I too didn't want to go to jail for assault.
A few years ago, I worked at a bookstore, and one of the managers started kidding with me and would sock me on the arm. Well, I would do it back to him. This came to be an ongoing thing, and I didn't say anything, with my anger building. Finally, I went up to him, nervously, and told him that I didn't want him to do it anymore, and if he did, I would kick his butt. He said he was just clowning, but a lot of times I can't tell when a person is joking or serious.
I could go on and on about all of this, but just wanted to let you know that I hope everything works out.
Life is too short to put up with that manager's stuff, and although I know finding a suitable job is hard, you shouldn't have to endure that jerk.
My job history is a joke because of my SAD. People always thought I was a snob because I liked to do my own thing, but I am not. Oh well, good luck.