Anxiety Forum

[yasmin]

Hello,

I am a 28 year old woman suffering from social anxiety. For the past year I have been suffering with social anxiety at work. Every job that I have, I end up leaving because I start to feel nervous, I act weird, I get very shy, and I stop talking. Worst of all, people start to talk about me because I act like a fool and I dont talk. This makes me feel even worse and I either take alot of sick days or I quit.

This is really affecting my life and my marriage. My husband has gotten to the point where he is shouting at me for not being able to keep a job or bring in money. This I understand, but he tells me I am spoilt, lazy, and I need to grow up and keep a job. Even though I know I have to work, I cant bring myself to feel comfortable and end up quitting after a few months or after people start disliking me. I have even quit a job after the second day as I felt people were looking at me weird and didnt like me.

I dont know what to do. I also feel very ashamed to talk to a doctor because I dont look like the type of person that would be shy or act like I am insecure. I am an attractive woman and I get called for good jobs. Now I am worried that I wont get good jobs anymore because I dont have long term experience for my age. I feel like a child trying to skip school because of bullies. I really need some advice on how to solve this quickly because I cant continue like this. I am ashamed of the way my life has turned out!.

Thanks

[setler]

It is hard to find a quick fix to the problem, but it is good that you are wanting to start to deal with the issue! In most cases, social anxiety is mainly treated with therapy. In other instances, medicine can be issued, but I believe therapy to be the best resource. You seem like a very intelligent woman and I believe you could help yourself with it as well. Although you are embarrassed to see a doctor, as many of us have been, it is something we have to eventually face if we want things to change. Besides, it is nothing to be ashamed about. Everyone faces different challenges in their lives, and this is one for you.

If you are not going to do any of this, I would suggest seeking out some of Dr. Claire Weeke's books on anxiety. I have heard nothing but great things about them.

I hope this helps you. Good luck

[LarryM]

Sorry to hear about that. Im to new to the forum to post a link so I sent you one directly. I may help you and your husband.

[violet]

Hey, im sorry to hear about that, think it would help your husband to understand more about this too, as lack of understanding was my worse enermy. Im 19 and also suffer social anxiety, like you i cannot stay in a job for very long, its so frustrating as when i think things through logically i realise i have to do these things to face and deal with my anxiety, i am currently studyin my first year psychology, this has helped as i can sometimes use cognitive ways to help my anxiety, however i am not turning up to my classes most of the times, and i know the more you avoid it the stronger the anxiety gets, im letting it win. My job interview is in a couple weeks and i am very anxious just thinking about it, i go red when im havin an attack, you?? Hope you do find some great advice and remember you are not alone, which i thought. Id love to hear how you get on. x

[carolyndstress]

I also have the same problem. The longest I've held a job is a year and a half. My current job doesn't require me to work everyday, but my bills do. I only work about two days per week, and it causing problems at home. My boyfriend and I live together and he has to pay the bills because I never have enough money. I feel like a loser. Sometimes I turn down assignments because I am so exhausted from my mind racing all of the time. I recently tried to go back to school to pursue a degree in nursing, but my panic attacks were so bad that I had to drop out mid-semester. I was always affraid that I would be called upon to speak. And during the student loan counseling session, I had a severe panic attack and had to walk out 15 min into the session. The auditorium was packed with people and they closed the doors. I felt like I was about to die!!!
I have been taking Lorazepam for about four months and haven't had a panic attack since.

I hope eveything works out for you!!!
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we shall overcome.

[Robert Tressell]

Hi,i know just how you feel,i am 43 and have had a terrible time holding down jobs because of social anxiety;I work in Sales and from Home,when i visit strangers ie Customers i'm fine,but if i have to visit Head office i dread this as i blush and do not feel comfortable:On the outside i'm sure people think i'm fine,but inside i feel crushed and sometimes i get tired of the fight.No one suspects,not even my wife and family.
However i've noticed that i'm only REALLY nervous at first in a situation,when i get into a conversation,though i'm still aroused ie Heart racing,i start to settle down.I've also noticed how nervous other people are too when they first meet you,and this kinda relaxes me!!
I've discovered that breathing,Valerian and St Johns wort are helpful,try to remember not everyone is super cool around you at work,it is normal to be wary and nervous at first !!I wish you the best of luck in your fight,KInd Regards,Bob

[BeachGaBulldog]

I have had the same problem holding jobs because of my SAD. I like to do my own thing, and am quiet. People assume that I am a snob, but I am not. They start to do all those things that you mentioned. There are jobs that I have quit the first day, or after a short period of time. The longest I have held a job is a year and a half. I just can't work in a setting with a lot of people. The office politics are too much. I have spent too many days dreading to go to sleep at night, because I didn't want to get up the next morning and go to a job I hated because of the people. I would count down the hours and minutes until it was time to go.
I am unemployed, and am trying to find something where there are few people, but of course, I can't.
Having never been married, I don't have the significant other breathing down my neck, but still, I know exactly how you feel. Life sucks.

[Fear]

I think you should get more angry and say things clearly both to yourself and your husband.Just to make the point.Try to overcome the idea "Oh,no they don't like me!".Trust me I know it is not easy.You gotta work day by day.Exercise to look into people's eyes.Do things like that.Exercise to forget what people say.Most important:don't stop to bad things and obsess yourself for that,or you'll never go on.Think about the new day.A new day is like a new beginning.Work day by day.That's really important.It helps me most of the time.
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The better I wanna be,the worst I become.


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