Anxiety Forum

[fcDrifter127]

Since Ive found out I have social anxiety, Ive been trying to be aware and get rid of it. Doesnt help much, but Im really a do-it yourselfer, and a doctor is a last resort, I dont want anyone knowing about my SAD. After researching I found a book with nothing but positive reviews.

Diagonally-Parked in a Parallel Universe : Working Through Social Anxiety (Paperback)
by Signe A. Dayhoff (Author)

It wont let me post a link but its available on amazon. It seems like its been a tremendous help for alot of people, its only 20 bucks after shipping, I might as well try it right?
Havent got it in the mail yet, but Im sure it will help some.
Ill let everyone know how it goes ASAP.

[fcDrifter127]

I got the book, and I have skimmed it and tried an exercise. It actually helped me alot. Check it out:

A – Fearful Thought
B – Realistic Assessment
C – Thought Origin or Analysis


A.. People will stare at me and judge me if I go running in public.

B.. People may glance at you out of curiousity, but only an idiot would chase you down and laugh at you because you were running.

C.. Why does it matter if people stare or judge you?

A.. If people stare at me or judge me I would be humiliated and I would feel stupid, and ashamed.

B.. If people stare at you, it doesn’t mean they think you look stupid. They could be admiring you for exercising so well, thinking that they want to exercise, or expecting you to greet them. People can’t make any accurate assessments about your personality just by watching you run.

C.. Why is it a problem if people judge you?

A.. Because the assessments people make about me or my physical appearance may be true.

B.. Even if assessments about your physical appearance are true, that does not define you as a person, and you are running to change your physical appearance to feel better about yourself.

C.. Why would you assume assessments others made about you were true?

A.. Because other people have made the same assessments in the past, both ancient and recent, about me or my appearance.

B.. You don’t know what assessments others have made, because you have not asked them. You assume people are making assessments and you assume that the assessments are negative, and you accept those assumptions to be the absolute truth.

C.. Why does it matter if other people have made the same assessment about you?

A.. Because if everyone says it, there must be some truth to it.

B.. Not true. Everyone told you a black widow bite would kill you, when in reality only 1 % of black widow bite victims die from black widow bites every year. Just because some people tell you they believe the same thing about you, does not mean other people don’t think something entirely different.

I think this can help me work up the courage to actually go running.. lol.. and I can couple it with the relaxation techniques in the book so even if I start to get anxious, I can take a break and relax and get back on the horse. More to come about the book later. What do you guys think of this??

[bohemianbarbie]

Well, let us know how that book works out for you. I wish there was some kind of self help remedy that actually worked. It will probably just tell you to force yourself into situations that you normally wouldn't be comfortable in. Basically just leaving your comfort zone. For me, that would be going to Walmart at 5pm.

[bohemianbarbie]

As far as the judging goes, thats probably one of my worst symptoms coming from social anxiety. Not so much the jogging part, I wouldn't be caught dead jogging in the public, and I have every reason to make those assumptions that people are starring at me and thinking something stupid because one time I wasn't so much jogging but more like riding a bike and someone drove by in their truck screaming crap out the window at me. Ohhhh yeah, like I'm ever going to ride a bike EVER AGAIN after that. I tried telling myself things to make it all go away, like "oh don't worry, you'll never see them again", and "well clearly they have nothing better to do but stare at me and judge me so how much better could they possibly be". Then I mellow down into the "crap, I suck at life" mode. Then I get into the "what if" questions like "would if it happens again", "would if I really am a fattie riding a bike", "would if they go to their house and tell everyone in their family about the fattie riding her bike".

Lets not forget all those wonderful times where I pull into a parking lot and sit in the car for 15 minutes preping myself for a public entrance (which rarely ever happens). I'm not even prepping up for when I enter the store, I'm just getting prepared for when I open the car door, stand up and have to pull my pants up and everyone else sitting in their cars are starring at me and laughing at me.


Yeahhhhh...