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jessr421
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 13
Location: Massachusetts
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 Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 7:40 pm Post subject: how do you make eye contact? |
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hi
sounds like a silly question. but since i started to fear eye contact i kind of forgot what etiquette wouild be - right now if i'm walking down the hall at work and i see some one, i'll say hi, look them in the eye and then a second later look away, i feel like its so awkward if i keep staring at them....
is it normal to look away right away?????
i know i feel awkard and thats why i look away but maybe its normal ?
thanks! |
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Hopeful
Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 3:29 pm Post subject: |
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I thinks it's normal to look away afterwards. You don't want to scare someone by stareing at them. I always tend to smile make eye contact say hi & then look away & watch where I'm walking. Also try to make yourself seem conifdent with your head up. That help me even feel confident. I used to walk with my head down & I bet people that I was weird.
I sometime I hard time knowing how much eye contact is too much or too little when I'm having a conversation with someone. I try not to think about it though & it usually will come natural to me.
I hope this helps. |
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PanicSick
Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 7
Location: Quebec City, Quebec, Canada
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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Eye contact is actually something very interesting on the psychological level on the act. It can tell way much more than talking about someone.
But I think the best way to act is to NOT think about it. It's supposed to be natural and if you've had problems in the past, it can be link to low self-esteem (like I had) and once this problem is gone, you'll notice that you will always walk with your head up, eyes looking above shoulder.
For just a "hi, what's going on thing" I look the person in the eye when I'm talking and for the reply, then look away. There's no good or bad answer to eye contact though. Rather what you want to project. For example, if you look at a guy or girl in a certain glare, they might think something else is going on.
But like I said, best thing is to be natural, do what feels right for you and don't worry about it. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
Hope it helps! |
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txmom
apprentice poster
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 43
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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how do you make eye contact? |
I don't. Haha.
When I make direct eye contact with someone, my eyes instinctively skitter away, which makes me seem weird and suspicious, like I'm hiding something.
So I try not to make direct eye contact. I look off to one side, or at their nose, or something. i watch their mouth while they're talking.
In parent-teacher conferences (I'm a teacher; these conferences are nerve-wracking for me) I write down everything I want to say. I carry the child's file into the conference and while we're talking I occupy myself with it; flipping through it, reorganizing papers, taking notes about what the parent is saying.
This gives me something to focus on and makes the situation less tense and awkward.
In the break room at work, I always have a book, a crossword puzzle, or a newspaper. Something in my hands to keep me busy (or at least make me look busy). This helps make the silence less awkward if someone comes in and I don't know what to say to them.
I have no trouble making eye contact at home with my family. It just comes naturally. But in public? With strangers?
Forget it.
One thing I like is sitting in the room while two or three other people are having a conversation.
This happens a lot in the break room at work.
I like to sit off to one side a bit, observing them while being mostly unnoticed, listening to them talk. Every once in awhile, I might offer some small comment.
I fel comfortable in that situation, where I'm mostly just a spectator.
But when it's just me and one other person, I feel very uncomfortable.
I feel this awful pressure to keep the conversation going, even when I can't think of anything to say. I feel judged.
I don't know. Social relations are difficult for many people, i think.
Just watch other people, confident ones, and try to mimic what they do. |
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debal
Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 8:36 am Post subject: eye contact makes me nervous |
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| When I am speaking in an one to one conversation sometimes my eyes will not stay focused on the other person. I involuntarily will look down and makes the other person uncomfortably, also makes me look strange. I don't know how to conguer this. I would love to get over this kind of nervousness. Any suggestions will be appreciated. |
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JimmyB
master poster
Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 50
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Sometimes I get real nervous and if I make eye contact sometimes I get a mental block and I can't look away because of the fear, its like I'm stuck there with tension, if I do look away sometime I twitch or something, weird. |
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louisrapisarda
master poster
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Posts: 53
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| Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 6:38 am Post subject: |
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Sounds fimilar. Try to look at there nose and have a smile on your face. Always think positive and give your self a big pat on the back when you achive a goal.
Good luck.
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louis93@dodo.com.au |
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